How To Be a Good Mom When You're Depressed

Prioritizing Your Mental Health Without Guilt

Being a mom is hard, but it shouldn’t take away anything from you. Becoming a parent doesn’t mean you stop being a woman, having interests, or feeling strong emotions. Taking care of yourself is the first step toward being a good mom when depressed. An honest and age-appropriate conversation with your child about your feelings positively affects their empathy and self-esteem. Children are perceptive and often blame themselves for their parent’s feelings, especially if they pick up signs of parental depression. Making them understand how you feel is crucial to work as a team.

Navigating this delicate situation can be daunting, but you don’t have to do it all by yourself. There’s no shame in seeking help from professionals, family, and friends. Having a supporting community around you shows your child to value good connections and be true to themselves.

Strategies for Parenting Through Depression

It’s okay to wonder how to be a good mom when depressed. Some days are harder than others, and you might not feel like giving 100 percent of your energy when dealing with symptoms of depression. Still, there are ways to show up for your child while caring for yourself. Try some of these strategies to help with parenting while working through depression.

Prioritize basic self-care

Caring for yourself reflects your love for others. Growing up, children emulate the people around them to manage daily tasks and deal with emotions. Respecting yourself shows your child that you — and they — matter. Practice self-care for parents by:

• Eating healthy
• Staying active
• Getting enough sleep
• Taking some ‘me time’
• Making time for things you enjoy

Get professional treatment for depression

If you’re struggling to balance your private life with the efforts of being a mom, seeking support for depressive symptoms is a good option. Researchers found that therapy decreases the symptoms of depression in both mothers and children. A similar outcome was also observed in a study of seventy-six moms with depression taking antidepressants.

Discussing these options with a healthcare provider is the safest thing to do, especially when symptoms of depression persist over time.

Finding the time to prioritize your mental health can feel overwhelming. That’s where online therapy can help—providing flexible, accessible support on your schedule. With Talkspace’s online treatment for depression, you can access licensed professionals from the comfort of your home—on your terms— and take the first step toward feeling better.

Don’t overload yourself

If things are going too fast, allow yourself to press “pause.” Dealing with household chores, other family members, and a busy career triggers feelings of distress and can cause mom burnout. Make space for what’s important, making sure you have enough time for yourself and your child. Learn to delegate or say no, if needed, remembering that your well-being is the priority.

Ask for and accept help

One of the best ways to be a good mom with depression is to ask your loved ones for help. Family and friends may lift your spirit by offering a hand with daily tasks, providing emotional encouragement, or supporting your child’s activities. Sometimes, it’s helpful to join support groups or take parenting classes to avoid the loneliness of motherhood. It doesn’t matter if your peers are dealing with depression or not — you’ll realize how common it is to struggle when raising children.

Set realistic expectations

There’s no manual on how to be a good mom when depressed. Try to avoid comparisons with other moms. Social media doesn’t help, especially in a society where women often have to overdeliver to be validated. Acknowledge your efforts and accept the ups and downs of your journey. No one can determine what’s good or bad when parenting. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, set boundaries and enjoy small daily wins.

Create a daily routine

Establishing a daily routine can be a powerful tool in managing parental depression. Setting consistent times for meals, relaxation, and exercise provides a sense of stability and control. Prioritize small but meaningful moments—whether it’s a soothing bath, a grounding conversation with a friend, or a few minutes of quiet reflection. Life’s unpredictability is inevitable, but minimizing unnecessary distractions can help protect your mood and strengthen your ability to cope with challenges.

Use energy wisely

When you’re struggling with depression, energy can feel like a limited resource. Prioritize tasks based on their importance and the effort they require. Focus on what truly benefits you and your family—like preparing simple, nourishing meals or maintaining a manageable routine. If certain tasks feel overwhelming, give yourself permission to delegate or put them on hold. Declutter unnecessary obligations and make space for activities that restore your energy, whether it’s quiet time, a short walk, or a moment to breathe.

Engage in small joys and moments of connection

Depression can make it hard to feel present, but small moments of joy and connection with your child can be incredibly grounding. Simple activities—reading a book together, going for a short walk, or baking something sweet—can create meaningful bonds. These moments don’t have to be big or elaborate; what matters is showing your child love and presence in the ways you can. Prioritizing even small interactions can bring comfort to both of you and reinforce the connection that matters most.

Communicate with your children

Open and honest communication with your child is essential. Avoiding difficult conversations about parental depression can create distance and confusion, impacting both your relationship and their emotional well-being. Instead, engage in age-appropriate discussions that help your child understand what you’re going through without feeling responsible for fixing it. This kind of openness fosters empathy, reassurance, and a stronger bond while teaching them that emotions are a natural part of life.

Manage mom guilt

Mom guilt is a heavy burden, especially when you’re struggling with depression. It’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough or that other moms have it all together—but remember, your journey is one of resilience and strength.

To quiet self-doubt, try journaling and mindfulness. Writing down your emotions can help you identify what triggers or soothes your symptoms while re-reading past entries can remind you of your ability to overcome challenges. Taking even 10-15 minutes for deep breathing or quiet reflection can also help shift your mindset toward more positive emotions.

Cognitive reframing is a powerful tool for managing guilt and can be especially beneficial for moms with depression, including those experiencing postpartum depression. This technique, commonly used in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), helps challenge negative self-talk and replace it with more constructive, self-compassionate thoughts. Research shows that CBT can help moms develop a more positive self-view.

For example, instead of thinking, “I’m not spending enough time with my child,” try reframing it as, “I’m proud that I helped my child with their homework today.” Shifting your focus to small wins reinforces your role as a caring, engaged mom—because you are.

Moving Forward With Self-Compassion

Motherhood is a journey filled with both challenges and rewards, and when you’re living with depression, that journey can feel even more overwhelming. But being a good mom isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up, taking small steps forward, and recognizing the strength you’ve already shown.

Healing takes time, and every effort you make—no matter how small—is worth celebrating. Be kind to yourself on tough days, and remember that seeking support isn’t a sign of weakness but an act of self-care. Lean on family, friends, and support groups when you need to, and don’t hesitate to explore professional help.

With online therapy and mental health resources, Talkspace makes it easier for moms to get the support they deserve. Prioritize your well-being and see how Talkspace can help you navigate motherhood with more confidence and clarity.